- Someone calls you ‘luv’ and you don’t sue them for sexual harassment.
- You can afford to live in a house with a garden.
- It’s raining.
- No-one thinks Boris Johnson is a ‘lovable buffoon’. They just think he’s a twat.
- The word ‘scone’ rhymes with ‘gone’ (not ‘cone’).
- You announce that you fancy a ‘chip muff’, and nobody laughs.
- You think an oyster is a small mollusc.
- Your mum rings you up to tell you what she’s had for her tea.
- There’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
- It’s still bloody raining.
- Johnny Vegas, Sarah Millican and Ross Noble make you laugh…Michael McIntyre, Miranda Hart and Jimmy Carr don’t.
- You’re on first name terms with your neighbours (you might even have been to their house!).
- Chips come with gravy, not mayo.
- Rugby is game played by a team of 13 men (not 15 public schoolboys).
- You know what the phrase ‘skriking in’t ginnel’ means.
By Jo Dearden
If you have anything to add to the list, please email Stephanie Alderson at email@example.com