1. Someone calls you ‘luv’ and you don’t sue them for sexual harassment.

  1. You can afford to live in a house with a garden.
  1. It’s raining.
  1. No-one thinks Boris Johnson is a ‘lovable buffoon’. They just think he’s a twat.
  1. The word ‘scone’ rhymes with ‘gone’ (not ‘cone’).
  1. You announce that you fancy a ‘chip muff’, and nobody laughs.
  1. You think an oyster is a small mollusc.
  1. Your mum rings you up to tell you what she’s had for her tea.
  1. There’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
  1. It’s still bloody raining.
  1. Johnny Vegas, Sarah Millican and Ross Noble make you laugh…Michael McIntyre, Miranda Hart and Jimmy Carr don’t.
  1. You’re on first name terms with your neighbours (you might even have been to their house!).
  1. Chips come with gravy, not mayo.
  1. Rugby is game played by a team of 13 men (not 15 public schoolboys).
  1. You know what the phrase ‘skriking in’t ginnel’ means.
  1. Someone tells you they come from Ramsbottom, Giggleswick or Oswaldtwistle – and you believe them.


By Jo Dearden

If you have anything to add to the list, please email Stephanie Alderson at stephaniealderson@northernsoul.me.uk